I'm trying to think of where to begin with my memories other than from the beginning. Of course I want to do it in chronological order, but how do you really decide what is the most important to share and what I actually really want to share?
How about friends? Yeah. That sounds good. I had a hard time making friends all growing up. I always liked people, but as I have gotten older and have looked back at how the relationships really developed, I realized there was no real thing that made them want me around more than someone else. Don't take that as a pitty party. It is just a matter of fact. I enjoy people a lot but I can come on strong and didn't realize that until I was older. But I have always been quite a bit of an introvert and homebody so it never truly bothered me until the last few years of high school. When we moved in on our street, Astor Lane, we only added to the gaggle of kids that already lived on the road. It was a long road that had a slight bend near the end before it went on to end in a cul-de-sac. We lived at the bottom of the road (and by bottom I mean the lower point of the road in elevation) and on every side there was a family with kids near my age and Gillian's age. Some of my dear friends were Crystal, Annie, and Amanda. There were times I felt like a total stranger, even as the years went by. I did better with individual people instead of as a whole group. Annie and Amanda both had sisters that were the same age as Gillian. Crystal wasn't a member of the church, but we got along so incredibly well. I always enjoyed hanging out with her. Her family moved to Nebraska when we were in middle school and we only saw each other every few years when she would come to visit. It was always so nice to have her back. Crystal was probably the most genuine of the three and I felt very comfortable with her in pretty much any setting. Annie and I were not very close and she moved just after 5th grade to Connecticut. Her dad was over the Church Education System out in that area for quite some time before they headed back to Utah and their family settled in Cedar Hills, about 40-50 minutes north of Elk Ridge, by American Fork. The first two years or so that we lived in Elk Ridge we were pretty close, but then things changed and I got sick. After that I felt like she was in a different atmosphere than I was. We picked different things to enjoy and I made friends off of the road. That kind of split us a bit, which was sad, but I think needed. We had very different takes in how to be a friend. I remember one specific day where I was really hurt by her. I had gone over to see if she could play and she said her mom told them no friends for the day. Two hours later I see my own sister, the older girls on the road her age, Annie, and Amanda hanging out in their front yard. I just went inside and realized that it was not the friendship I needed and stopped trying to make it work. I was probably 10 years old at the time, so still pretty innocent and unknowing. I never told Gillian about that, and for a 13 year old who never wanted me around anyway, she probably wouldn't have cared or shown much sympathy. It was just how the relationship was for us at the time. Amanda and I were fairly close always. Even into adulthood and her family moving away then moving back. Our families were close and her mom has always been one of those that I would consider a dear friend. We live different lives now but we had some quite amazing and fun times. Amanda and I were both small, but she was a whole different kind of small. I believe she is still under five feet. Because we were both small we could sneak into things like... well, the big dumpster of recycling at the church. Not the trash, but recycling. It was filled to the brim of newspapers all the time and we used it as a hiding place a lot. We hung out at the church a lot. We both loved to ride our bikes and roller blade and climb trees so we bonded over those things easily. She taught me how to do a front flip and made it really easy for me to climb onto the roof of their garage from their cherry tree. We would spend hours up on that roof eating the cherries. Best cherries ever by the way. I have so many memories with her because I spent so much time with her. One of those memories would be watching The Grudge. Oh boy, we were so dumb. We started it at night, then I had to walk home by myself in the dark at 11pm. We were both scarred from that night and you would think we could learn our lesson. Yet we didn't and we watched When A Stranger Calls. We finished it up and then ran to my room and grabbed the guitar and started to sing I Am A Child of God because we were so freaked out. Music was a good thing for us. We both sang and learned to play guitar together. Our brothers were both accomplished guitarist and we admired them greatly so we tried to learn ourselves. Although I don't play anymore, it was a great thing for us to start together. We went to different schools after elementary school. I went to Spanish Fork schools and she went to Payson schools. Because she was born in July and myself in November, we were in different grades. It wasn't until she was a senior and me a junior that we went to the same high school when Salem Hills was built. Our lives changed and we changed which lead to natural distancing. When we all got into middle school another friend moved into our neighborhood. Her name is Kari. We became instant friends and hilarity ensued. Kari and I still talk to this day and I miss living around Utah so we can hang out. Her and I were the most closely matched in temperament as well as likes and dislikes.
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Kaitlin Clark LanhamWife and mother. Dance enthusiast. Amateur baker. Archives
March 2020
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